Friday, March 12, 2010

Daddy's Little Girl~ A birth story


Our little Claire is a miracle baby! The doctor only gave us less than a 20% chance of ever even conceiving her. You see, she is the very happy result of a vasectomy reversal!


Soon after our 3rd son was born in 2003 we decided that our family was complete, and my husband had a vasectomy. We had three wonderful healthy happy little boys to raise and that seemed just perfect at the time. Well within a year or so after his vasectomy I started feeling like I really would have liked to have had more children. (After all my girlhood dream was to have at least seven!) I mentioned it to Rodrigo a few times and he very gently told me "No". He had a few good points to go along with his answer, such as the ones we have are so great, why take a chance with the unknown... and, we really can't afford many more kids (honestly, who can afford even one or two??? You just do that's how!) Plus most importantly it was a decision that we made together after a lot of thought and consideration, and it is a permanent decision, not something simple like going off "the pill" or anything. And he asked me if I would please quit mentioning it to him because it bothered him that I wanted something that he couldn't give me. (And quite honestly I was all for the vasectomy originally, it's not like he went behind my back and had it done!) So I kept silent about it. But I never could stop longing for more children.

For a while I felt pretty miserable, wanting what I could never have. Then after nearly a year I woke up one morning and realized just what a treasure I already had in my three precious boys. So I made a choice that day. I would start enjoying each and every moment I had with them now, I would be content with what I have. I did still ache for more children. It was a daily choice that I had to make not to dwell on the permanent emptiness of my womb. Some days I honestly struggled with being happy. I called out to God during my quiet times. Why did I still long for more babies, I asked. Would He not take this empty feeling, this desire from me? He knew I'd never have another baby. Couldn't He see that I was trying so hard to be content with the children I already had? I just didn't understand why He wasn't helping me get past the longing for a larger family. During the next few years I spoke with no one about this.

Just after Thanksgiving weekend 2008 Rodrigo and I were talking late at night after the kids were in bed. Out of the blue he asked me how I would feel about having more kids! I started crying... of course I wanted more but how was that supposed to happen? We had made it permanent; I would never have any more myself. He had heard of having a vasectomy reversal and asked me to look into the procedure. The only surgeons I found around here charged a minimum of $17,000 to $35,000. We just didn't have that kind of money laying around. So we kept searching. We found a doctor in Oklahoma who would do the entire surgery for under $2000. I personally spoke with dozens of his patients who had had reversals through him and they all recommended him highly. He started doing reversals as a ministry and does his best to keep his overhead as low as possible. In case anyone ever needs this information his name is Dr. David Wilson of Muskogee, Oklahoma.

We really felt that this was the doctor that we had been searching for so we made an appointment. On March 3, 2009 Rodrigo had his vasectomy reversed. Dr. Wilson prayed with the two of us before the surgery and allowed me to be in the operating room while he worked. The Doctor told us that during the surgery he found no sperm at all. He also said that there was a very large amount of scar tissue. Between those two things he stated that our chances of ever conceiving were very very low. Less than 20% chance he said!

I drove us home from Oklahoma back to East TN. What a long trip!

By April 1, 2009 I felt different. I took a home pregnancy test and it turned out POSITIVE!!! The reversal had worked! After all of those years, crying out to God to take the desire for more children away from me he had done something even better! He was giving me another baby!

10 days before Claire was born!

During my pregnancy Rodrigo and I talked about where and how we wanted the baby to be born. I did not want to have a traditional hospital birth if at all possible. Our first two boys were born at home while we lived in Guatemala. Our third son was a planned homebirth turned emergency cesarean section also in Guatemala. In the beginning of this pregnancy I was going to the local midwife run birth center. But since this was my first VBAC (Vaginal Birth After C-section) they did not "feel comfortable" "allowing" me to have my baby there! So after I was "fired" as the midwife's patient we decided to have her at home unassisted as long as my labor was proceeding normally.

In Labor... Excited!
In Labor... Tender Kisses :-)

About 10 minutes old and ready to eat!
Claire Rose was born at home into her Daddy's hands on December 14th, 2009; just one year after Rodrigo asked me if I wanted more children! And even now if Daddy is at home she is happiest in his arms! She is Daddy’s little girl!

6 hours old, peaceful in Daddy's arms








Seven months old, playing in the lake together.

12 comments:

  1. She is beautiful! Congrats!! Also, congrats on having an unassisted homebirth! That is awesome! God is so good :D

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  2. Oh, how lovely she is! Thanks for sharing this- I too had a planned homebirth turned emergency c-section, and my husband is just a little nervous about the next one. Here in London I'm told I wont be approved for a homebirth VBAC on the NHS, but we'll see. (Not yet pregnant, but trying!)

    All the best to you, and I'm glad I found your blog- I also intend to home educate, though my Henry is only 20 months yet, and am looking for positive, powerful homeschool things to share with the grandparents! Thanks.

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  3. LOL...I thought we were the only crazy ones! Hubby had his vas. and then 12 years later...yes 12...we had it reversed! Our daughter is 13 years younger than her next older brother (we also had 3 boys in the first 'litter')

    We lost twin girls after our daughter and then went on to have boy #4...we are now sooo DONE!

    LOVE your story! Kim

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  4. what a moving story! I have 2 boys but want 3 children (wanted 7 too when I was younger but that number went way down after I had my first son)
    My husband hasn't had a vas. but doesn't want anymore kids. I am dealing with it but that longing (for a girl but another child would be a blessing) is still there. He keeps reminding me that he hasn't done anything to prevent it but...
    Our youngest is only 3 so I pray and hope that the space between #2 and #3 is just a few more years away. Thank you for this inspiring story that men's minds can be changed!!

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  5. She is so beautiful and definetely "Daddy´s girl!" CONGRATS!!!

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  6. Hi I know you wrote this ages ago, but I just want to say what encouragement I've found through it. You see my hubby had a vas reversal a month ago & although we have to wait for a while before trying for a baby, we are praying hard. It is wonderful to hear of a reversal that worked well - what a beautiful daughter you have! Thanks for sharing your story - maybe when I'm brave enough I'll share ours on my blog.
    Have a nice day
    Renata:)

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  7. Hello,

    I found you via a comment that you left at Raising Olives. My husband and I have 4 precious little boys ages (just turned )9, (just turned) 7, 5, and 3. I had a tubal ligation during my 4th c-section. I immediately regretted it. The Lord taught me so much through my sin. I had a reversal last March. Nothing compares to the peace and joy of letting God plan our family. We have had 2 miscarriages in the past 9 months. Still praying for the Lord to open my womb. We are also pursuing domestic infant adoption. I too have a dream of having at least 7 children. I am going to follow your blog. I try to support fellow Christians who have had reversals. How thrilling it must have been for you to have a girl after 3 boys and a reversal! My dream is to have twin girls! Thank you for sharing.


    Blessings,
    Jamie

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  8. Such a beautiful story. She's darling.

    God bless you,

    Thanks for linking up to Domestically Divine.

    Jasmine

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  9. This is my first time here but it will not be the last.Usually I don't write because it takes me too much time, but here I need to tell you thank you for your story, thank you for be part of God's Creation.
    Todo es posible con Dios que me fortalece.
    The Peace of our Lady be with you.

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  10. Your story brought tears to my eyes!!! It is amazing how God has blessed you. We have 5 children as well 13, 9, 7, 13 months, 8 weeks! We also live in east Tennessee:)

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  11. Wow! What a wonderful story! We were ultimately blessed 3 times by adoption after a reversal! God knows what He's doing!

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