Friday, February 14, 2014
When I was 23 he told me he loved me. I didn't believe him. I was scared. No, I said, you are infatuated with me. There's a difference, I said. You might think you love me, but really you'll get over it soon enough and then you wont want to be tied down to me. I'll get old, I said. My belly probably won't always be flat. I'll get wrinkly. I won't always look like this in my jeans. I get hormonal, and can be short tempered. You might end up resenting me and our kids, you'll want out, I said.
I resisted. And he pursued me. I love you he said. I will always love you. I will love you when your belly is full of my babies, when your skin is stretched so tight it feels like you might burst. I'll love you no matter what size jeans you wear. Ideally, you will get old, he said. If our lives go exactly according to my plan we will both live to see our great great grandchildren. We will be old and I will love you. I will love every wrinkle on you beautiful face. I love you no matter what and I always will. He convinced me. I did not know men could love so much. I really didn't understand the amazing capacity he had for loving me. I might not yet.
He loves me. He loves me and thinks that I am beautiful. He loves my body, even after my once flat belly has curved to cherish and grow 6 children. Stretched and scarred, he thinks I am beautiful, maybe even more so now. I look up to find him watching me, smiling to himself. When I have spit up on my shirt, and my hair hasn't been washed and I am almost in tears from exhaustion or frustration, he loves me. When I was so tired with early pregnancy that I could barely function he came home after a long and very hard day at work, and offered to make dinner. His scrambled eggs have saved us from starvation more than once in those early months. My freckles are now divided by a few more wrinkles, and he kisses each one of them. He comes up behind me while I am cooking dinner and spins me around to dance with him while singing me love songs. He works so hard, so that I can stay home and care for our children.He starts and ends every single day the same, always with a kiss. He provides us with a wonderful life, full of love and laughter. He loves me just the way I am, unconditionally. He has sacrificed so much for me, all of us, and yet he never complains. He shares his dreams with me, he whispers to me in the darkness, and tells me how he loves me and how he can't wait to be old with me, and how much fun it will be when we are surrounded by all of our children and (hopefully) many grandchildren.
I feel so privileged to be the one he chose. He is my one and only, my heart's own love. It still amazes me that he loves me the way he does.
Happy Valentine's Day my darling love.